DBT Effective Communication: Asking for What You Need Without Losing Yourself (or the Relationship)
Communicating your needs can feel terrifying. Not because you don’t know what you need, but because at some point you learned that asking came with consequences. Maybe you were ignored. Maybe you were labeled “too much,” “dramatic,” or “selfish.” Maybe you learned it was safer to stay quiet, explode later, or hope people would just figure it out . So if you struggle with communication, I want to say this clearly: There is nothing wrong with you. Your nervous system learned what it needed to survive. And some people just don’t make any communication safe. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) doesn’t shame that. Instead, it offers tools (or even a step by step script) for moments when emotions run high and words disappear. One of the most well-known DBT interpersonal effectiveness tools is DEAR MAN . What Is DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness, Really? DBT effective communication (also called Interpersonal Effectiveness) is about learning how to: Ask for what you need Say no without spiralin...
